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INAUGURATION NEWS: KARL ROVE INSISTS OBAMA RSVP RESULTS SKEWED
PROMISES GOP EVENTS WILL DWARF THE PRESIDENT’S (WASHINGTON, D.C.) With President Barack Obama’s Second Inauguration less than a week away — and over ten days filled with official celebrations fast...
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NRA REFUTES NEW LABORATORY STUDY SUGGESTING THAT GUNS DO, IN FACT, KILL PEOPLE
(CHICAGO, IL) Earlier today, National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre responded to a University of Chicago clinical trial suggesting that guns do, in fact, kill people with a terse and angry...
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Ask An N.R.A. Landlord
“Broken locks don’t cause crimes, People cause crimes” Dear Unit 3: Got your messages about the busted lock on the front door. All of them. You don’t need to nag. I was going to get around to it....
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COURT RULES DRUDGE, BREITBART OWE ESTATE OF ADOLF HITLER $57 MILLION IN BACK...
CASE BROUGHT BY ESTATE OF JOSEPH STALIN STILL PENDING (MIAMI, FL) A Federal Court sitting in the Southern District of Florida today ordered Matt Drudge, The Drudge Report and the Breitbart News Group...
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US Seeks International Sanctions Against Producers of “Movie 43″
CLINTON TELLS U.N. “WORLD CANNOT LIVE UNDER THE LOOMING THREAT OF A ‘MOVIE 44‘” (NEW YORK, NEW YORK) In perhaps her last official act as Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton appeared before the U.N....
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GOP REVEALS NEW “COMPREHENSIVE” LATINO STRATEGY: PAUL RYAN NOW INTO ZUMBA
LUNTZ ANNOUNCES MOVE TO LATIN DANCE-FITNESS AT MAJOR PRESS CONFERENCE (WASHINGTON, D.C.) In recent weeks, moderate Republicans have been hard at work trying to craft a new strategy to decrease the...
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Pope Benedict XVI Resigns In Wake of Super Bowl Lip-Synching Scandal
Pontiff Claims Ever-Widening Scandal Played No Role in Abdication (VATICAN CITY) Pope Benedict XVI announced in a press release Monday that he would resign on February 28th due to circumstances arising...
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Earth Celebrates as Wayne LaPierre Single-Handedly Diverts Deadly Meteor with...
(WASHINGTON, DC) When it was discovered late Friday afternoon that Space Rock 2012 DA14 would not miss earth as scientists earlier predicted but would, in fact, impact its surface resulting in an...
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DICK MORRIS FIRED FROM E! ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION AFTER PREDICTING BIG OSCAR...
(LOS ANGELES, CA) Dick Morris appears to be back on the job market after the Conservative Pundit’s short stint on E! Entertainment Television came to a rather abrupt end late Wednesday evening when he...
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CITING WILD SUCCESS OF TACO BELL’S “DORITOS TACO LOCO,” VATICAN INTRODUCES...
VATICAN CITY – The Vatican today announced a bold first step in its new plan to make the institutional Church more appealing to modern, Western Catholics — particularly those living in the United...
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FAMILY SUES MICHELE BACHMANN AFTER FACT CHECKER’S HEAD LITERALLY EXPLODES...
(TAMPA BAY, FL) At a press conference held today, the attorney for the family of PolitiFact reporter Joshua Coleman formally announced that the family has decided to pursue an action for wrongful...
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SENATOR WHO RECENTLY DISCOVERED HE HAS AN UNINSURED, CHRONICALLY ILL,...
Senator Richard Starboard (R – Montana) announced a sudden u-turn on issues relating to health care, immigration, the social safety net, gay rights and gun control today after discovering the existence...
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MILLIONS REUNITED WITH FAMILIES AS FIRST SCREENINGS OF “THE HOBBIT” FINALLY...
(LOS ANGELES, CA) It’s been just over four months since eager early audiences sat down to the first screenings of the hotly anticipated film “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.” Sadly and...
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PROMINENT GASTROENTEROLOGIST WORRIED ANTONIN SCALIA MAY BE “DANGEROUSLY FULL...
Click Image to Enlarge WASHINGTON, D.C. (CSN) – Antonin Scalia is quite accustomed to his judicial decisions and legal writings generating sharp criticism and voluminous commentary. Indeed, colleagues...
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TEXAS DOCTORS FIND CATCH 22 – NOW PROVIDING ABORTIONS UNDER PROTECTION OF...
Practitioners Pit Broad “Self-Defense” Law Against Recent Abortion Bans By Yelling “I’m in Fear For My Life” During Procedures Right Confused AUSTIN, TX (CSN) – Conservative lawmakers in Texas were...
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SCUT FARKUS NOT GUILTY IN SHOOTING DEATH OF LITTLE RALPHIE PARKER UNDER...
Evidence Suggests Ralphie Was Straddling, Striking Defendant When Farkus Shot Out Boy’s Eye, Brains Farkus all smiles after verdict HOHMAN, Ind. – Scut Farkus, the so-called “yellow-eyed bully”...
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Americans Agree: Horrible Violence, Complicated Relationships, and Moral...
America: Already Too Overwrought? As President Barack Obama continues to present his case for a military strike on Syria, a new national survey shows that most Americans simply are not ready to engage...
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Sen. Ted Cruz Vows Not To Raise Nation’s Debt Ceiling Until Union Admits To...
Referring to the Confederacy as a “wonderful friend to America” and a “key ally in the war on terror,” Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) seemed unperturbed by the Confederate Flags flying at Ted Cruz’s...
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